i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
