Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
