did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Let's get the cat blown out
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
