i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
