I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
