He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
