I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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