I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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