i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
