Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
