u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
