his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
