the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
