Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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