You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
