I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
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4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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