apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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