Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I deserve this hangover.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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