i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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