Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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