Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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