when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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