She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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