All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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