Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
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I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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