dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
