Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
