nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
