I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
