Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
