Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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