if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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