if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
