Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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