she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
