I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
