This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
