either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize