You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
