i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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