Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
