So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
