At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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