So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
