please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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