remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize