i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
