i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
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When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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