O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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