Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
