Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
