I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
