I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
