i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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