I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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