he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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