did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
