Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
