they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
