your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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