if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
