ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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