Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
God, I missed his penis.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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