How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
