it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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