She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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