South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
