Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
