i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
