Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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