so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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